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The Decision

So everyone knows that once you have your first child, the folks start immediately asking, “When are you going to have another one?”  For the longest time, we weren’t sure if we wanted to have another one.  Meaning, I wasn’t sure if I wanted another one.  I prayed so hard for Dax and he’s here.  He’s really enough so I just wasn’t sure I wanted to rock the boat, aka my life, our life, with another child.  It is a decision I have thought and stressed about for a good year (or more) now.  Weighing the pros and cons, mulling over being Advanced Maternal Age (such a disgusting term to me) and doubly high-risk, wanting a girl, trying save money in case… and finally, I decided I wanted to try for another one.  So that meant I needed to share my feelings and my decision with my husband to see if he was on board.  Surprisingly, it was one of the easiest conversations we’ve had.  Not that I thought he’d flat out say no but I thought I’d meet some resistance or the obligatory, it’s not the right time.  But alas, my baby daddy is ready to sail these uncharted waters. 

It may not happen, and that’s ok but we are ready to give it to God and see.  If it doesn’t happen naturally, then it just won’t happen.  I’m not stressing and how unusual is that!  I’ve also come to terms with the fact that I could have another boy and you know what, that would be great too.  I would hardly need anything new thanks to Big Bro Dax and my unwillingness to part from anything of his.  Seriously, whatever happens will be fine but at least we’ve finally made the decision to try.  The relief of not stressing over this anymore has lifted an anchor from my shoulders.  And now, we’re off.